How to Maximize Who You Are in Every Phase, Mood, and Season
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” – Romans 12:2
A beautiful thing about human beings is our wide range of emotions, personalities, and moods. The problem is that many people don’t see this natural occurrence as an opportunity to embrace, but more like an unwanted side effect of humanity. But why? The reason is because our upbringing, and the “follower” mentality of this world, tell us to pick a persona and fully immerse ourselves in it; however, I believe this mindset is mostly fear based. Fear that if we waiver from “ourselves” we may look ingenuine, and fear of the possibilities for expansion that may arise with exploring all the parts of ourselves. Why must we choose an “avatar” with a backstory and a specific personality to show the world every time we decide to venture out? Life is not a video game where we swipe and pick a title, traits, clothing, weapons, abilities, and specialized skills in order to “create” ourselves… we are a complex mashup of our heredity, environment, and early development, and we evolve each and every day as new information and experiences are added into our reality. So how do we turn off the video game and step out of this preformatted persona? By maximizing who we are at each phase, whether that shift happens in the same day, or over many years… as Christians, we must anchor our foundation in God’s Word to keep us “ourselves” when we’re feeling out of sorts.
Here is a Biblical story to remember when we need support… In Matthew 15:22-28, we read:
22 A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”
23 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”
24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”
25 The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.
26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”
27 “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”
28 Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.
Wow! What just happened here? Let’s look a little deeper…
When Jesus says nothing to this woman, His disciples say, “Send her away!” First of all, that was their test, and even the 12 hand-picked by God didn’t demonstrate a very good “WWJD” moment here. Secondly, Jesus probably shocked the sandals off of everyone with his response to her when she begged for help, but He was allowing Himself to be an example for his crew, while testing her true character at the same time. He compared her to a dog begging for scraps! Despite this, she had the courage to kneel before the Son of Man, God in the flesh, and state that even dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table… as if to say, “Yes! It IS right to help me, because we are ALL worthy of receiving blessings.” She corrected Christ Himself, and she was right to do so! Jesus needed to know that should her life change one day.. should she find herself in a better season, and someone from another town came to her begging for help, would she offer the same kindness? Based on how she responded, the answer is yes. Because of this, He granted her request and healed her daughter.
We all go through many shifts and seasons of ourselves. The woman in this story may not always find herself begging, and just like her, our clothes, status, and living situation may change more than once in our lives. On a smaller scale, our moods and behaviors may shift multiple times in one day or in one month. We can go through periods of trauma, loss, illness, addiction, war, and all of these things affect us. The way we can power through these shifts is by remembering our constant- the Word of God, and who He says we are. Our true character can shine bright even during the times we don’t feel like “ourselves.” The problem is that during these shifts, we tend to hide from everyone because we’re afraid that our friends and family will see us as someone “different.” Years ago, I found a friend of mine in an upstairs bedroom all alone during a party that was taking place downstairs. I said, “Hey, what are you doing in here?” He said, “I don’t feel very happy today… I don’t wanna go down to the party, because everyone knows me as the ‘funny guy.’ I’m not in the mood to be funny tonight, so I’m up here by myself.” I was a little shocked. I said to him, “That’s okay if you’re not in the mood to make everyone laugh… I don’t think everyone expects you to always be funny. No one is always one kind of way.”
The Canaanite woman in Mathew could have easily been angered by Jesus’ response… she could have allowed the enemy to enter her heart and mouth, and “lost” herself in this moment, but instead she put her foothold in God’s Word. Our reactions to the circumstances of life that push us out of our comfort zone could be a sore spot for the enemy to strike, but don’t fall for it! We should look at these times as opportunities to explore ourselves deeper, rather than hide out until we “feel better,” or “things improve.” Start right where you are; don’t wait! If you’re overcoming a job loss or end of a relationship, it’s okay to feel all the feels that come along with that… but turn those emotions into something positive! Seek out others who have gone through the same loss, and find support within the grief. Find yourself still attending gatherings with friends or family, and allow yourself to open up to them in ways that maybe you never have before. Cry on the shoulder of someone you can trust! It’s okay to cry, and it’s not a sign of weakness, but of courage. If you’re working your way through therapy to forgive your past and you’re struggling with anger, turn it into fuel to start a sport or a hobby. The point is to embrace all of the energy that fills you up with each season of life, and rather than avoiding it or hiding it, put it to good use! We have to start getting comfortable with this idea of “breaking character” now and then; this is how we grow in ourselves and in who God called us to be. We find the strength to do this by remembering to always embody who God says we are: above all things, we are worthy.
“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” – 1 Peter 3:3-4
Written by: Michelle TK