“Take Your Time”

It’s amazing how three little words strung together in a specific order can sound like a melody so beautiful, that time itself stops to serenade your heart with its song…

As a woman of God, it’s very important to me that He and I construct my life together. He is the designer, and I am the builder. Over the years, our partnership has produced oceans of wisdom, cities of poetry, and monuments of milestones reached. As my first eternal love, I have been made whole and healed by His grace. This has required much refining— tearing down and rebuilding, over and over again.

During these important seasons, my Heavenly Father taught me how to stand on my own as a strong, independent woman; however, I was not meant to do this life alone…

One Monday morning, I woke up and met the man who would forever change me. Words cannot express my love and appreciation for him enough! My God knows me so well that I could have never dreamed up a relationship so perfectly matched if I tried. Although when we met, I was already complete in Christ, there was something special about him I noticed from the first day that continues to restore me in ways I didn’t know I needed: the healing power of his voice saying to me, “Take your time.”

Before him, taking my time was not a concept I was familiar with. My days were packed with multi-tasking, working two jobs, taking care of myself, pets, and a house all on my own. I did the dishes, cleaned, pumped gas, put makeup on, and every other thing under sun, all with my shoulders at my earlobes and a fully tense, rigid body. Everything I did was at warp speed. Headaches, body aches, and crash-outs plagued my daily routine.

Then came this gentle, loving melody that sang to my soul, melting my concrete world into buttercream dreams…

Getting ready to go out: “Take your time.”

Running into a store: “Take your time.”

Talking and praying to God: “Take your time.”

Processing my emotions: “Take your time.”

Meeting him for dinner: “Take your time.”

Needing to rest: “Take your time.”

Hanging out with friends: “Take your time.”

Working on an article: “Take your time.”

Driving home in bad weather: “Take your time.”

Talking on the phone: “Take your time.”

I asked him once, “How are you like this?” To which he responded, “I’m always chill, babe.” (I love him.)

At the moment, social media is saturated with men suggesting ways to create a safe space for a woman to relax her nervous system, but the posts are usually really cringe to me. While we do need a man with emotional intelligence, I wish these content creators would stop making us sound like unstable, immature nervous wrecks who need some creepy daddy-husband to coddle us. Women with high-alert nervous systems are usually high-functioning, successful, smart, and resilient women who are kicking the sh*t out of life every single day. So, guys, please stop reducing us to helpless damsels in distress. (End rant.)

It turns out that all some of us really need is a small, continuous reminder that it’s not necessary to race the clock. To get to the next thing. To complete it all in one day. To multi the tasks. To hold it all together perfectly. To arrive everywhere early, or even on time. My man bringing an anchored, slower pace into my life is teaching me how to move through my day with a tranquility I never knew existed. Am I always calm? Of course not. The mind can only understand a concept; change happens through implementation. My body is still working to forget its comfort zone of chaos as I consciously make efforts to slow down.

What’s even more amazing is how both of us living by this motto is sculpting our relationship. Now, together, WE take OUR time…

Eating dinner: We take our time.

Shopping in stores: We take our time.

Having conversations: We take our time.

Sharing emotional and physical intimacy: We take our time.

Working on house projects: We take our time.

Driving around for errands: We take our time.

Doing absolutely nothing except for being weird and making each other laugh: We take our time.

Embracing this relaxed lifestyle has not only healed my body from decades of fight/flight mode crushing me, but it’s also blossomed my relationship with my man into this peaceful, harmonious world where our love simply flows between us… unrushed. Every moment is fully felt and cherished in the present. Every experience has time to develop a deeper meaning. Every day together creates lasting memories that become imprinted in our hearts forever.

So, remember, there is no need to race through life! God created a beautiful world for us to explore using all the senses He blessed us with. We are souls meant to have a human experience for a short time only, so let’s enjoy it! Today, I am reminding you: Relax your shoulders. Loosen up your body. Breathe deeply, and… “Be chill, babe! Take your time.”

With Love, Michelle