Creating Safety Through Elimination

Yes, relaxation techniques can help us to create feelings of safety and calmness. There are a million different things we can add into our lives to help us “come down” from feeling stressed or anxious. But for me, adding these practices into my life didn’t actually stabilize feelings of safety and calmness. In fact…

> They didn’t stop my anxiety attacks.
> They didn’t give me a baseline of peace or happiness.
> They didn’t curve my perceived fears.
> They didn’t cure my anxiety or depression.
> They didn’t create lasting positive changes.
> They didn’t make me feel that much better overall.

Why?

Because they didn’t replace or remove all the things that were contributing to the instability in my life. If you want to lose weight, do you just add fruit and vegetables to your routine and that’s it? No!

What’s interesting is that many new-age teachers who offer “relaxation” services constantly reiterate this desperate need to devote ourselves to self-love routines.. to engage in repetitive developmental exercises.. and to be dedicated to self-care practices. This is all very ANTI-stress free! Personally, I’m exhausted of hearing this broken record about doing so much WORK to achieve what should come naturally.

What did I choose to do instead?

Well, I woke up one day and said to myself, “F*ck this shit. I’m not living like this anymore.” Then, I asked myself this honest, life-altering question:

>> “Why do I feel unsafe?” <<

The answers that followed took me in a completely different, positive direction. I realized that creating the feeling of safety was NOT something I was responsible to do solely WITHIN myself— like new-age tells us to do. No, b*tch. My external world was filled with actual UNSAFE factors that were contributing to the degradation of me as a whole.

So, I figured out which things those things were, and I eliminated them. One by one. As I felt ready to. And over time, the result was real change. Real growth. Real healing. Real peace. Now, I still enjoy all kinds of relaxation techniques, but they’re just little pick-me-ups; not major staples in my foundational stability.

Here’s a self-love tip on how to relax your nervous system and STAY relaxed:

Stop allowing yourself to build mini comfort zones within what should be a DEconstruction zone. Love yourself enough to open the curtains blocking the view of your life.. and let the sun shine in to illuminate those dark truths hiding in the shadows of all those self-care routines… Whatever you see there that doesn’t belong in your happy, safe space… Eliminate it.

With Love, Michelle